Tag Archives: masturbation

A few weeks ago, I had some alone time and was strategically using it to my advantage. It was early on a Saturday morning and no one was around. sitting on my bed, laptop beside me, I put on my headphones and began to performing articificial sex on my phallus.
Progress at close to 90%, I began to get “in the Zone” and failed to hear a person knocking on my door. I was so entranced in fact, that I didn’t even break my concentration when the door began to open and on of my lady friends burst into the room with Dunkin’ Doughnuts in hand. She then supposedly sat down in a chair and just started whistling. About thirty seconds later my “alone time” came to fruition, sexually satisfied noises and everything.
Taking my headphones off and turning my attention away from the laptop. I heard a voice say “That was entertaining.” I then said, “Well, this is awkward…” to which she replied, “It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.” She then promptly stood up, and promptly left..
This interaction was never spoken of again.

What is your best caught masturbation story (Reddit)

The hysteria is too much sometimes, but every now and then I come across a story that redeems humanity. Sexuality is what we make it. Let’s not think of it as awkward.

Previously: The Joyous Reality of a Vibrator

Posted on 04/27/2011 by Adrian Keys
In Opinion, Sex | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Study Your Figure


Sandy
by Jonathan Leder
from Lust Films and Jacques Magazine

via dirty secretary

Previously:
Jonathan Leder is Beautiful [Missing Link]

Posted on 11/19/2010 by Adrian Keys
In Art, Porn, Softcore | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The Joyous Reality of a Vibrator

Inspired by probably the most progressive show on cable* today, Mad Men (this season: nude art, child sexuality…), Jezebel.com comforts ten-year-old Sally Draper with their readers most embarrassing moments in masturbation.

Mama’s Revenge
I had just finished the deed, when my four year old decided to wake up, open my bedroom door and asked to come up into my bed. I toss the vibrator under my pillow, natch, and pull the covers a little tighter around me so the little one doesn’t catch mommy without her bottoms on.


He curls up next to me, slides his arm under my neck and lo and behold, grabs my vibe. He slides it out from under my pillow, holds it up like the Statue of Liberty torch and said “Mama, wut’s dis?” Trying to think quickly, I replied…”Oh honey, that’s just something for making headaches go away. Give it to mommy.”


With that, my beautiful, mop-topped, brown eyed baby boy finds the “on” switch and starts running my big ol’ dildo all over his head. “Like this, Mama? You do it like this?”…

[continued…]

The 10 Worst Masturbation Stories We’ve Ever Heard

With the exception of the LOLCat tale, every other story involves the pleasure of a minor (3 to 16). A three-year-old is caught in the act; yet a four-year-old is lied to about the function of a sex toy. I wonder if it’s worse to maintain our traditional views of childhood or to expose the cruel and joyous truths.

more caught-jerking illustrations…
*As in the cable networks that are slaves to their advertisers.

Related:I Believe in Education

Posted on 08/30/2010 by Adrian Keys
In Art, Illustration, Sex | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

As Dangerous As Bubbles


photo credit: unknown
It took me a little less than a second to notice that she was sitting on a dildo. It’s just startling, in a good way, to see someone juxtapose an “innocent” act with vaginal penetration. The fact that there’s something deep in her pussy is secondary… because why not? Her focus is on blowing bubbles; yet she doesn’t bother to abandon the phallus. There’s no reason to let it go if it’s so pleasing to feel full. It seems she could just as easily be painting a picture or playing guitar or carrying on a conversation with her vag still plugged. She doesn’t care. She’ll be on her way to do everyday activities and still keep that dildo tucked in her pussy.

At least that’s the fantasy I imagine when I look at this picture. It represents a certain attitude about pleasure, one that never says sexual gratification it out of place, the same way scratching your own itch is never inappropriate.

But apparently people want “freedom from porn” and sexuality, because to them sex can never be like music or books. It can never be in the background or on a shelf and remain unnoticed. And when it’s in the foreground it can never be appreciated. For them the expression and embrace of sexuality can only be considered when it’s hidden behind a locked door.

Posted on 06/08/2010 by Adrian Keys
In Featured, Opinion, Sex | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment